Hello my wonderful sex deviants!
I have heard no end of whining on the internet about the dreaded “Friend-Zone” and it’s not as bad as people make it out to be.
I have had a crush on one of my friends for the good part of a decade, she does know about it, but she does not see me that way. I would rather be in her life as a friend, than make her feel bad about not being more and her ending up disliking me for it. She will forever be my crush and that’s fine, it doesn’t stop me from dating and loving other people (because you can love more than one person). I refuse to have sympathy for people who throw fits when they get rejected, yes it hurts but now you know and you can start moving on.
I won’t lie sometimes people change their minds but you shouldn’t let all your decisions revolve around a “maybe”. If it truly affects you that much maybe it would be best to tell them the truth and end the friendship. Your friend may be upset but if they are a good friend they will understand and you will be able to move on. If you are perfectly happy just being in their life, then the “Friend-Zone” shouldn’t be a problem.
I have a serious problem with people who whine about the “Friend-Zone” because it screams entitlement. I dated someone who I “Friend-Zoned” when I felt guilty because he was nice (I was not attracted to him). Friends kept saying “Aww you two are cute” and I was peer pressured. When we finally started dating he turned out to be a pushy f*ckwad who made me feel uncomfortable. He was only being nice to me because he wanted a bit of a** and that’s not okay.
If you are being friends with someone purely to date them (or have sex with them) then you cannot blame them for not feeling the same way. It sucks I get it your crush not liking you back but if you’re friends you don’t have the right to demand more from them. It’s not like a vending machine where you put in time and friendship and get a relationship in return. The only thing you should expect from a friend is friendship. If it turns into more great, good for you, but if you make them feel bad it will just get you from the “friend-zone” to the “not-this-person-again-zone”.
Obviously, this post is not aimed at people who respect boundaries. I do not believe in the “friend-zone” I think it is a phrase to make mainly women, feel bad about not getting with their male friends just because they were “nice guys” (though it can apply to women sometimes I’ve seen it). Being nice isn’t a special ticket that gets you everything you want. You should be nice and caring to people without expecting anything from it (shocking I know).
Anyway, moral of the story, don’t be a dick to friends just because they don’t see you as more than that. Why isn’t being just friends good enough? I mean at least they’re in your life, right?
Until next time,