50 Shades of Who the Fk Knows

Hello my wonderful sex deviants!
50 Shades Darker, is it worth the watch or should you pick something else? Well don’t ask me because I haven’t seen it. I watched the first one and couldn’t keep my eyes open and well the second one is still in cinema and let’s face it that s**t is expensive. I’d rather spend my money to go see John Wick 2 because I’m more of an action movie type of person with pointless gunfights and dogs. Also, Keanu Reeves is in his 50s and still looks the same as he did in the Matrix, wish I knew his secret.

Anyway, the 50 Shades books and movies have baffled me, I just don’t understand the appeal that they had, the books weren’t as good as they could have been and neither was the first movie. There’s plenty of other great “romance” novels that I have read that have a good plot and make sense with realistic sex scenes. Where are their movies? No creepy, manipulative, controlling boyfriends either.

Also, what is up with the books never calling peoples genitals by their names? Like f**king with butt plugs and handcuffs is okay but the word penis isn’t? Please for the love of all things sexy just call it what it is, because let me tell you if anyone called my V a sex organ I’d walk away.

Don’t get me wrong, I have heard some good things about the new movie, but I won’t be going to the cinema to see it. I can wait for it to come out and watch it when there is nothing else. I can’t say much about the new movie besides that the second book was better than the first but still not that great so if they’re anything alike I wouldn’t waste my money at the cinema.

If you want to prove me wrong tell me about the best bits and interesting toys (maybe I can recommend something). I suppose when I do watch it I won’t suffer too much because the cast is attractive enough to tolerate the story. Who’s your favorite?

Until next time,


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